All at Sea

I’ve always done Christmas.
For twenty bloody years
I’ve been the best
open house… no one missed it.
Party? Yes please…
But this year
I’ve missed the boat…
I’m all at sea.
You’ve rocked me.
I loved preparing stockings,
covering the tree
with glitt’ring crap,
but this year… I’m all at sea.
My hearts not in it.
The first year since I had a family
I don’t know who I’m meant to be,
a difficulty, since everyone I know
takes their lead from me.
We’ll get by and things’ll be OK.
I know… they say…
But… if truth be known
I struggle with the great unknown
and cry bitter fucking tears.

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